Under the Table
by dragonsrgorgeous07
Summary: ONESHOT full of onomatopoeia madness the original nameit does have a plot though, so it's all good. written to entertain.at least 1 usage of onomatopoeia per paragraph


**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but…well I would list things, but that would take far too long. **

**A/n: to explain this…hmm…well, in ap language, one of the words was onomatopoeia. And there was powerpoint involved, and it was just hilarious. So I decided it would be fun to write a story using onomatopoeia. So here you are, guaranteed at least one usage of onomatopoeia per paragraph. (I was going to do per sentence…but that would be ridiculous)**

**Enjoy, and please review!**

Under the Table

_**KABOOM!**_

Harry Potter jumped and fell off his seat with a heavy _thwump_, landing under the table. Crack went his head on the underside of the table, and he cursed quite loudly.

"Harry, aren't you a bit, er, old to be playing under the tabletops?" Ron let go of the tablecloth, laughing, and it predictably came back and slapped Harry in the face. It's just going to be one of those days, isn't it? He thought grimly to himself. He was just thinking he should try to get out of there or someone would call him a perve, when he heard a distinct _shuffle shuffle shuffle_ from the other end of the table.

_Snap_

Okay, Harry's curiosity was definitely piqued now. He started doing his own version of the _shuffle shuffle shuffle, _the _scuffle scuffle scuffle;_ which is quite different from the _scuttle scuttle scuttle _of cockroaches and the _flutter flutter flutter _of birds. He suddenly stopped and thought that perhaps some people were just snogging under the table for some weird reason. Then he heard something that changed his mind. _Zap._ People don't go _zap_ when they snog! His curiosity was aroused again. Harry began scuffling towards the sound again. He quickly became grateful for the width of the table (though it had never appeared so wide before) because it prevented him from brushing up against all the people.

Above the table, causing professors to glance at the Gryffindor table, one giant _SHRIEK _was heard gradually moving up the table. Hermione and Ron, the only two people who supposedly know about Harry's whereabouts, wondered mildly whether the shrieks had anythign to do with him. They quickly dismissed the thought for more pressing matters; such as: Ron: sigh I wish Hermione liked me; and Hermione: So much to do, so much to do...

A cackle filled the air above the Slytherin table. _SLAM!_ Draco Malfoy's eyes bugged out of his head and he struggled to breathe. Crabbe and Goyle looked worriedly at their friend and continued to 'pat' him on the back. Pansy Parkinson kicked them under the tabled and hissed at them to stop being idiots and leave her gorgeous boyfriend alone. They reluctantly stopped, and when Malfoy finally regained the ability to breathe _KONK_ went their heads on the table. "You blumbering idiots! I was not choking! I was laughing!" The four brought their heads together to discuss the reason for Draco's cackling, which he called laughing, but only because he seems to have a slight hearing problem.

"Oumph!" Harry gasped for air, having been kicked seconds before by none other than his girlfriend, Ginny Weasley. Who, to be fair, had no idea Harry was the one under the table. He was ready to call it quits when he heard that stupid Z_ap!_ again. Dang it, he had just convinced himself that he had been imagining things, too! Now he had to start that process all over again. _Thud!_ Harry rubbed his head and decided that in order to prevent running into large, solid, wooden objects, maybe he should watch where he was going. Then he finally realized he couldn't go any further. He was kind of mad at himself for just assuming the table was held together by magic and therefore required no legs to support its weight.

_Snap_

It's getting closer, he thought wildly. Harry then did something incredibly stupid. He tried to stand up. _BAM!_ The impact made Harry slightly queasy and he vomited all over Ginny's shoes.

Above the table, Ginny's face turned ashen. Her friends asked her what was wrong, but she just shook her heard. She smelled like vomit. Normally, Ginny was a tough girl (growing up with six brothers, it can hardly be helped) but she could not stand vomit. She shrieked with such intensity that everyone in the Great Hall clamped their hands over their ears. In the Forbidden Forest, the birds went _flutter flutter flutter _and Ron's car zoomed far away.

Under the table, a slight _pop_ sounded behind Harry. He turned around and standing there grinning like nobody's fool was…Dobby!

**A/n: please review!**


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